From: jonathanm@csee.uq.edu.au.hrm (Jonathan Matthew)
Subject: Re: In all my life.....
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology
Date: 14 Nov 2000 06:18:24 GMT
Organization: University of Queensland

ragtails@telusplanet.com (Rochelle Ireland) wrote in <3a102c3b.52389107
@news.telusplanet.net>:

>I never go anywhere that I am not able to find shopping carts in weird
>and wonderful places.  They are like the orange cones of Alberta.  If
>you can believe, there is one just outside my door right now (and no!
>I didn't put it there).  There's one down the block lying on it's side
>in front of a neighbor's house, too.  I'm not sure what it is that
>draws them to our block.  I've been trying to figure it out for months
>now.  They don't seem intent on any distruction as of yet, but I think
>they're just gathering their numbers.  So far as I can tell, their
>plan is to take out the city one block at a time.

My theory on this is that the shopping carts of the world are rising
up against the cruel orange cone overlords.  I base this baseless
theory on two separate tableaux I observed recently from a bus window.

In the first, a kamikaze cart had obviously detonated some form of
explosive, as both it and a cone were lying overturned, and there
was a large crater dug out of an embankment nearby.

In the second, a shopping cart was lurking behind a minivan, obviously
attempting to storm an orange cone bunker.  The cones had dug a
hole in the footpath, and there were four sentry cones on the
lookout for attacking shopping carts.

There are also some facets of the local cone behaviour supporting this
explanation.  At many roundabouts, one can see cones standing guard,
taking strategic positions which allow them to observe long stretches
of road.  There are also squads of cones which can be seen waiting
patiently (for weeks at a time!) to cross roads.  Recently, I also saw
a parade-style arrangement of cones across a bridge - a show of force
by the orange cone military, hoping to put down the shopping cart
rebellion without bloodshed.  I don't think it worked.

I just hope all this violence and death isn't for nothing...